Unsticking the Story: A Personal Reflection on Limiting Beliefs

We all carry stories about who we are. Some are given to us. Others we pick up along the way. Many are so deeply ingrained that we don’t even notice how much they shape our lives.

Limiting beliefs are like quiet rules we live by. They often come from experiences meant to keep us safe, especially in times of trauma or hardship. At first, they feel protective—don’t speak up, don’t take up space, don’t expect too much. But over time, they become boxes that keep us small, quiet, stuck.

I’ve lived in many of those boxes.

I’ve believed I was too much. Too loud. Too broken. Too tired. I’ve worn the labels of fat, fit, in control, out of control, strong, weak. Diagnosed with fibromyalgia and central sensitization syndrome, I believed I’d always be in pain. That belief ruled my life for years. I adapted to it. I stopped hoping for better.

But those beliefs didn’t allow space for my complexity, for the truth that being human is messy and constantly shifting. Sometimes I feel broken. Sometimes I feel strong. Sometimes I feel both on the same day.

Recently, I had the worst pain flare I’ve had in a year. My brain went straight back to the old script: “My treatments aren’t working anymore. I’m going backward. What if this is forever?” It’s wild how fast we fall into old stories.

But here’s the thing: I listened. I rested. I gave my body care. I shifted the belief. It’s not perfect—I still can’t look left without pain (thanks neck!)—but I’m not trapped in that box anymore.

So I’ll ask you this:

How would your life change if you let go of the belief that you’re not worthy? What would open up if you stopped believing you have to do it all alone? That you’re deserving of more?

What if you’re not broken, just finding your way home?

Limiting beliefs are sticky, but they’re not permanent.

If you’re ready to unstick from yours, reach out. EMDR can help you move through the survival responses that keep old beliefs alive, and create space for new, healing truths to take root.

You’re allowed to believe something different.

With love and appreciation,

Alyssa

Spring Cleaning for the Soul: Letting Go of Emotional Clutter

I love a good spring clean.

There’s just something about opening the windows, letting the fresh air in, and clearing out the spaces that have been quietly collecting dust all winter. My home always feels so much brighter, cleaner, lighter after I finally let go of what no longer aligns with my life. Whether it’s clothes that no longer fit (too big, too small — either way, no longer me), unopened Amazon boxes full of good intentions (I swear I will get to that craft project eventually), or even photos on my phone tied to memories that no longer serve — clearing out makes room for something new. Something better.

But the real magic happens when we take that spring cleaning spirit and turn it inward.

We don’t just collect clutter in our homes — we carry it inside ourselves, too. Old beliefs. Outdated mindsets. Ways of being that maybe once kept us safe but now keep us small. I see it every day in my own life and in my work: so much of our distress is tied to societal, cultural, or familial beliefs that don’t actually reflect the lives we want to live.

Beliefs like:

• "I have to work myself to exhaustion to be successful."

• "I need to always be productive to have value."

• "It's selfish to put my needs first."

• "Good people never say no."

Sound familiar?

When we try to live a life that belongs to someone else, it feels awful. No matter how hard we try, we’ll never feel fully alive, fulfilled, or at peace because we're chasing someone else’s dream — not ours.

One of the most powerful ways to spot emotional clutter is to notice when you’re “shoulding” on yourself.
“I should go to this event.”
“I should be farther ahead by now.”
“I should always say yes when people ask for help.”

Every time you catch yourself in a “should,” I invite you to pause and ask:
"Is this something I truly believe? Or is this a story someone else handed me?"

What activities, routines, or roles are you clinging to out of obligation, not passion?
What patterns in your thinking feel heavy, constricting, or rooted in fear rather than love?

Spring is an invitation — not just to clean out our closets, but to clear space in our hearts and minds.
When you release the patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that no longer serve you, you create space for what actually matters.
For what lights you up.
For what makes you feel brighter, lighter, more you.

If you’re feeling called to do a little mental spring cleaning this season, here are a few ways to start:

• Talk to a therapist — Unpacking old beliefs and stories with support can be so healing. Therapy helps you clear the clutter and build something stronger in its place.

• Create a burning ceremony — Write down the mindsets, habits, and fears you’re ready to release. Then (safely!) burn the paper and watch it transform into smoke and sky.

• Make a day of it — Set aside a full afternoon just for yourself. Journal, meditate, clean your space, clear your mind. Light candles. Play your favourite music. Make it a ritual.

• Do it with your loved ones — Spring clean as a family, a friend group, or a partnership. Share what you’re letting go of and what you’re making room for. Support each other in becoming lighter and freer.

You are allowed to build a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.
And it starts with clearing the clutter that was never yours to carry in the first place.

Here’s to fresher air, lighter hearts, and new beginnings ❤️🌼

You are more than what you give ❤️

I have had the privilege of knowing some of the most caring souls—people who would give you the shirt off their back if you asked. I see it in the people I love, the clients I support, and in myself. That deep desire to help, to heal, to hold space. It’s beautiful. It’s a gift. But it can also be a weight that slowly erodes who we are if we’re not careful.

I know this all too well.

For a long time, I believed my worth was tied to how much I could do for others. It felt safe to be needed. It felt good to be the one who showed up, who fixed, who soothed. But over time, I started noticing something—I was exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. And yet, I kept giving. Because somewhere deep down, I feared that if I stopped, if I said no, if I set boundaries, then I would no longer be valuable.

Trauma has a way of shaping us into givers. It teaches us that love is earned, that safety comes from being agreeable, that we have to prove ourselves through self-sacrifice. Helping becomes more than an act of kindness—it becomes an identity. But we are so much more than what we do for others.

Healing means learning to give from a place of abundance, not depletion. It means knowing that you are enough, that you are still worthy even when you say no. Finding this balance isn’t easy, but it is necessary. Here’s where to start:

• Practice saying no – Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when the guilt creeps in. No is a full sentence, and it doesn’t make you any less kind or compassionate.

• Go to therapy – Exploring the roots of the “helper” identity can reveal why it feels so hard to stop over-giving. Therapy, especially EMDR, can help rewrite those old survival-based beliefs.

• Nurture yourself first – You can’t pour from an empty cup. Rest, play, and reconnect with yourself beyond what you do for others.

• Surround yourself with people who don’t just take – Seek out relationships that feel reciprocal, that see you beyond what you can offer.

You are not just a helper. You are a whole, complex, radiant being who deserves as much love and care as you so freely give. You are valuable simply because you exist. You are worthy when you put yourself first. You are everything—just as you are.

Let’s commit to holding onto ourselves while we hold space for others. ⚘

My Journey with Chronic Pain

Pain has been a part of my life since the day I was born. While I don’t have memories of those early years, my body does. Growing up, I absorbed messages like no pain, no gain and put your big girl pants on—words that taught me to push through, to disconnect from what my body was trying to tell me. Injury after injury, pain after pain, until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

It was stealing from me—my relationships, my joy, my movement, my experiences. I tried everything: endless medical appointments, test after test, medication after medication, only to be met with little relief and even less understanding. I didn’t know what else to do.

So, instead of running from it, I turned toward it. I stopped seeing my pain as the enemy and instead, began listening to it. What if my pain wasn’t punishing me, but trying to guide me back to myself? I learned to move in ways that were kind and gentle, to explore where I could push and when I needed to rest. I found a team of practitioners who saw me and supported me—week after week, without judgment.

When I was diagnosed with Central Sensitization Syndrome, everything clicked. My body wasn’t broken; my system was just sensitive to pain and threat. And that was okay. I started EMDR therapy, learning to bring safety back into my body, to let go of the story that I would be in pain forever.

Pain-free days are a gift, but so are the painful ones. They remind me to rest, to savour comfort foods, to curl up with my dog and a good book. I love those days just as much as I love the days I push myself in the gym or on a hike.

Managing chronic pain is often an invisible, deeply personal journey. But you don’t have to do it alone. Find the people who bring you safety, curiosity, and kindness. Shift your relationship with your body, and over time, your pain.

EMDR can help desensitize and rewire your brain’s response to pain signals. If you’re ready to try, I’m here. I promise to hold your pain the way you deserve. Call me ❤️

February & Self-Love

Ah, February—the month of love. Hearts, roses, and grand romantic gestures. But let’s talk about the kind of love that took me years to prioritize: self-love.

Loving myself has been anything but easy. Growing up in the culture and environment I did, comparison and impossible standards made me feel like I was never enough. And when I stepped into my professional counselling journey, a whole new set of insecurities came knocking. Was I good enough? Did I belong here? Could I even help anyone? Why don’t I sound like that person?

On top of that, my body was in constant pain. Everything hurt—my mind, my body, my soul. It felt like no part of me was at peace. Until one day, I decided I was done trying to fit into someone else’s mold. I let my freak flag fly.

I started unlearning who I had been told to be and, little by little, let my authentic self out. I prioritized softness—learning to appreciate my body not for how it looked but for the way it carried me, even in pain. And slowly, everything changed.

If I hadn’t embarked on this journey of self-love, I wouldn’t be here today, running my own private practice, doing what I love. I’m still learning, still growing—but I can safely say, it feels damn good to love yourself.

So, this month of love, don’t forget the most important person in your life—you. ❤️

A Year of Growth & Gratitude

As the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the incredible journey it’s been—a year of lessons, growth, and stepping fully into my heart’s calling.

Starting SOUL & SCIENCE COUNSELLING has been one of the most fulfilling and humbling experiences of my life. It’s not just about building a business; it’s about creating a space where healing, connection, and transformation can thrive. Each session, each story, and each shared moment reminds me of why I chose this path.

But this year hasn’t come without its challenges. From navigating the business side of things and experiencing surprising changes in my person life pushed me far out of my comfort zone. I faced doubts and fears I didn’t know were buried in me. Yet, every uncomfortable moment held a lesson—reminders of resilience, trust, and the power of leaning into discomfort to grow.

I’m profoundly grateful for the support and encouragement I’ve received along the way. Whether from family, friends, or the wonderful clients who’ve trusted me with their journeys, your belief in me has been a guiding light.

This year has reaffirmed something I hold close: we’re all here to grow, to heal, and to honour the callings of our hearts. For me, that calling is healing—to walk alongside others on their path to healing and to create a space where science and soul come together.

Thank you for being part of this chapter. Here’s to another year of growth, connection, and purpose.

With heartfelt gratitude,
Alyssa <3

Discomfort is the Space Where Growth Grows

If I’m honest, I’ve been sitting with a lot of discomfort lately. Running a counselling practice means spending my days doing what I love—connecting with people, holding space for healing, and witnessing growth. But there’s another side to this work: the business side. And let me tell you, it’s not my comfort zone.

Learning about marketing, bookkeeping, and all the behind-the-scenes logistics feels like stepping into a world that’s completely foreign. Doubt, fear, and anxiety have been frequent companions as I navigate this space. Some days, I catch myself wondering, Am I cut out for this?

But here’s what I know: leaning into discomfort is where growth lives. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t feel good in the moment, but it’s necessary. Much like the healing journeys I witness in my clients, growth often comes through the messy, uncertain, and uncomfortable moments. When we allow ourselves to stay with what feels hard—to breathe through it rather than run away—we find strength and resilience we didn’t know we had.

I’m learning to remind myself that every awkward email I send, every spreadsheet I struggle to build, is an act of courage. And with each step, I’m expanding—not just as a business owner but as a person.

So, if you’re facing your own discomfort right now, know this: you’re not alone. Growth is waiting on the other side, and together, we can lean in ❤️